And Then There Were Three...

The sun will rise and I'll see the road
If only I did not see that it leads into nowhere,
Oh, but to love a lonely god,
Oh, but to sing like the Waters of Life.

Galina Homchik, "Foreign Winds" (Russian Ballad)

The bathhouse in Caleb's house was quiet - a pleasant absence of noise, sleepy stillness interrupted occasionally by sounds of water splashing and dripping. The air was thick with the smell of melting wax from all the candles - there were no lamps in the house - mingled with the peculiar odour of old books, musty and comforting.

Xena lowered herself into the tub and leaned slowly against the wooden side. The water was soothing, warm - it felt oddly out of place in the chill of the house, as though the bath was merely a decoration, never intended to be filled. Perhaps a pure monk like Caleb had no need for the dubious purification offered by water. The steam would just damage the books.

Even here, in the bathhouse, the walls were lined with bookshelves, all of them full - Xena had grown used to the sight by now. Every available space was filled with books and scrolls, rolls upon rolls of parchment, paper - tablets, too - all covered in neatly formed symbols which meant nothing to Xena. But then, that was hardly surprising. Most things meant nothing now.

She splashed some water over her face. The confrontation with Kal had tired her, and not just physically. There was something uncomfortable about the memory of her escape, a nagging splinter of emotion. Xena probed it, in vain. It was frustrating. She could feel something inside her - she should have done something else then, in the god's temple... Fight?

Fight. A word so familiar, and so meaningless. She had run away instead, and now the memory itched horribly and she had no idea at all how to solve the puzzle. It was as though a part of her - a part that she had always been able to access - was now locked away, and no matter how hard she tried to reach it, she found herself pounding uselessly at a blank wall.

Gabrielle, Joxer, Amarice - they were good friends. They cared about her and she was grateful for that - but their concerned expressions and probing questions told her that they, too, sensed something amiss in her.

The sound of jangling metal alerted Xena to Joxer's presence a second before he noticed her. She had to grin at his flustered expression.

"Xena! Sorry - I'll come back later..." He blushed profusely and hastened back towards the doorway. His homemade armour creaked and clanged in protest at the movement.

She smiled. "No, no - it's okay, Joxer. What's up?"

Joxer stopped uncertainly, looking everywhere but at Xena.

"Uhh... It's about Gabrielle..." He almost looked up, remembered Xena was naked and dropped his eyes again. "You know - how I feel about her -"

Xena decided to put him out of his misery. "Sure - you love her."

He gave a nervous laugh. "It's that obvious?"

"Yeah."

Even as she said that, Xena wondered that she had never before realised the depth of the young man's feelings for her friend. Or had she simply forgotten? No... There was something new about the knowledge, it had a clarity that memories lacked. Joxer loved Gabrielle - loved sincerely, with all his heart. It was that simple.

Perhaps this newfound clarity, this ability to see into people, was a compensation for the infuriating emptiness inside her. Or perhaps, its result. Why could she understand everyone else - everyone but herself?

"Right. Um, and I was thinking - since you guys are such good friends and all - maybe you could give me some tips..."

"Tips?"

"You know, um - recommendations. How to tell her. I could try the 'down on one knee' approach, or - flowers, or - gifts, or just club her over the head - do you see my problem?"

"Yeah. Your expectations."

So simple. Why couldn't her own mind be like that?

"Huh?"

"Right now, it's all about getting a response from her. If you love her - just tell her, don't attach any strings to it. Make it unconditional."

"Yeah, but what if I tell her and she just says - 'Joxer, what are you thinking'?"

"Joxer - no strings. All right?"

"No strings," he nodded. "Got it."

Xena watched as he disappeared outside. "Of course," she chuckled, "you could just kiss the girl!"

A pleasant shiver ran down her spine and some instinct made her look back to the doorway. The curtain that covered it parted, seemingly of its own accord.

"Interesting offer."

Xena closed her eyes. She knew the voice - really knew it. It belonged to the God of War.

War. Another one of those curiously empty words. The voice, however, was far from empty. Its sound filled Xena with memories - fragments and moments from her youth, a whirlwind of emotion stronger and stranger than she had felt since Eli had restored her life.

She opened her eyes again to find Ares standing on the doorstep, splendid in the black and silver of his armour. He walked towards the bath as she watched, his gait solid and confident, his dark hair shorter than she remembered. Xena wondered why that detail should have lodged in her memory, when it seemed that so much else had been lost, hidden. What did it matter? What did he matter?

Just then, Ares looked directly at her, into her - and Xena understood. How simple it all seemed!

"I know you," she said, unable to keep the wonder from her voice. "You're the one who freed me from Kal."

That, and more.

"Yes, I am."

Ares' voice was smooth and low - Xena thought she could drown in it, lose herself. Perhaps that's what he wanted. Or thought he wanted. Did she want it, too? Somehow the lines between them seemed blurred, like two candles melting into each other. She wondered that she felt no fear. But there was something else, beyond that - buried in a place so deep that only the dimmest shadows of it flickered in his eyes, thinly veiled by the steam in the room. How could she not have seen it before now?

Ares came to stand behind her. Xena smiled and reached back for his hands.

"I'm afraid I didn't get a chance to thank you properly."

Ares' hands stiffened in surprise as she guided them to her shoulders, then relaxed again. His fingers brushed her hair and the nape of her neck. The hesitation had been only momentary - but it had been enough.

"It's amazing, the difference when you don't resist me." There was the faintest hint of regret in his voice, but his hands did not betray it. Xena shivered as he swept her hair to one side.

"Amazing..."

Ares' hands cupped her shoulders.

"Free from old wounds, old grudges..."

Xena took one of his hands and brought it to her lips.

"Very free."

Whatever this bond was, this depth - Xena knew only one thing at that moment - that she wanted the spell to continue, to last as long as it could. It felt ephemeral, as though the slightest breath could shake her awake - and she wanted, needed, a way back. She had to try.

Ares had been expecting any of a number of things from this meeting - but what happened next took him by complete surprise.

Xena stood up and turned to him, water sheeting off her body, splendid and golden in the candlelight.

Perhaps Eli's god's puritan ideas were rubbing off, he thought wryly, unable to tear his eyes from the sight. And to think that this was just her innocent side...

He didn't have time for further reflection. Xena stepped out onto the floor beside him and gave him a slow, knowing smile - so far removed from his idea of what an innocent's smile should be, that Ares' skin tightened in pure desire. She was magnificent.

"My condition is not without its advantages."

"I can see that..."

"You can?"

Ares tried to remember why he was there, with limited success.

"Oh, yeah. It's all about you and me, Xena - not Kal, not even Zeus. Just the two of us - bringing peace and order to the world through force." He paused to draw a breath. "Something you and I were destined to do - together. Imagine it, Xena - a world free from violence, from evil..."

"Force... Violence. Evil. You know, it's strange - I know those words, but they have no connection," - Xena tapped her chest - "here."

"That's gotta be ... tough. But trust me, it's for a reason."

"Yes... I think you're right, Ares - it is all about us."

Ares blinked. He must have repeated this speech at least a dozen times, in various guises - was it possible that she was finally agreeing? Now, of all times?

But it was the next thought that startled Ares most. All those years ago, when she had been his warrior - she had been no innocent. He had never corrupted her. Not then. But now?

He immediately regretted the thought, but it was too late. The tiny shadow of uncertainly had brushed his features and Xena had caught it - he saw it register in her eyes. Trapped, Ares tried to look away, but failed.

Xena's eyes searched his face. "Humans," she said, taking a step closer, "are capable of so much good... I don't think I ever really saw it before."

"Mortals?" he said, confused. She sounded so different. She was talking to him, he realised. Not at him.

Xena nodded. "Yes. And gods," - she raised her face to him and her eyes were dark and unreadable - "are capable of being human."

He didn't even try to decipher that one - Xena's face was a handspan from his own, her breath gentle on his skin and her eyes burned into him.

To Tartarus with her riddles! Ares slipped his arms around her waist and pulled her close. She responded easily, with an unselfconscious voluptuousness that he had never encountered from her - not even in her warlord days.

His only coherent thought was that if he woke up now, he'd find a way to have Morpheus tortured for eternity.

"Ares?" Xena's whisper was hot on his lips.

"Yeah?"

She could have asked for ambrosia at that point, he would not have thought twice.

"Give me a child," she said instead. "Our child." She moved to kiss him again, opening his mouth gently with her lips.

'Way to go, Ares,' he thought - 'it's been a while since you've had that dream.'

Only this was no dream.

If Xena did get hold of the Chakram of Light after this, with its god-slaying power, he knew there was every chance he'd end up in convenient bite-sized pieces. But by Olympus, it would be worth it!

The uncomfortable thought returned - he had never corrupted her - but he silenced it with a scowl. Xena was here - in his arms! Asking for a child. Ares shrugged out of his vest.

"That, my dear," he caressed the back of her neck and allowed his fingers to drift lightly down her spine, "can be arranged."

* * *

"You might as well come out, Ares!"

Xena propped herself against a tree and crossed her arms. The forest was cold and asleep, but the darkness did not dull her perception of his presence.

A sizzle of blue light illuminated the clearing - and Xena found herself leaning against the newly-materialised chest of the God of War.

She elbowed him in the gut and whirled about.

"Is this your idea of a sick joke?"

Ares' expression was perfectly innocent.

"Hey, you asked me to come out -"

"You know what I'm talking about!"

He was silent and Xena felt some of her anger melt away. Damn him. She focused on the darkness over his shoulder, pretending to see the trees.

"Did you do it?"

"Do what?"

The anger returned, white-hot.

"Am I pregnant, you bastard!"

"Yes."

Xena nodded once, sharply.

"You wouldn't miss your chance - not even when I'm defenceless. Especially not then."

"That's not what happened."

Xena drew in an indignant breath, but the words died on her lips. He was right. Her face twisted in a bitter laugh.

"No, that's the sick part, Ares. Joxer must've been right - I had lost my marbles."

Ares reached a careful hand to her abdomen. "Our child..."

Xena moved back. "If you're thinking of using this child for one of your twisted little games to get me back, Ares..."

She broke off abruptly and turned away. It was easier to look into the black nothingness of the forest. It would also have been far easier to pretend that this was yet another of Ares' stunts if her memory of the event wasn't quite so clear. She had wanted this child, then. Did she still?

Ares' hands encircled her waist from behind, but he made no other move.

"She's mortal."

Xena tensed, but did not shake him off.

"Who is?"

"Our daughter."

It took a second for his meaning to sink in. A little girl? The sudden surge of emotion caught Xena off-guard. Well. That answered one question. She wanted this child - more than anything else. Nothing and no-one was going to take it from her.

"No powers?" she couldn't keep the question from being voiced.

"Nope. I thought you'd know - all that Eli-talk about gods being human..."

Xena shook her head. "Did you do that ... on purpose?"

Ares gave a short laugh behind her.

"'Fraid you can't blame that on me. All I know is that I can't feel a connection with her like with others with Olympian blood. She's all mortal."

"So how do you know it's a daughter?"

"I'm a god, Xena - don't you really think I ought to know that much?"

She smiled into the darkness despite herself, suddenly relieved. The implications were interesting. She turned and looked into his face.

"You do realise that this changes nothing? I'm still not coming back to you."

"Why am I not surprised? But you know, if you do change your mind -" his hands tightened around her waist. Xena ignored the little shock of pleasure and removed them.

"Forget it."

Ares gave her a lopsided grin. "Never say never, Xena."

"Oh, I'm not. When I get tired of changing diapers and midnight feeds -"

"Hey," he held up his palms, "that is not gonna happen - the God of War does not do diapers!"

On an impulse, Xena reached up and kissed him on the lips, then drew back, surprised at herself. For a moment, they simply looked at each other - and in that instant, Xena could almost remember more than the facts. She thought that, for the briefest of moments, she knew the why. Ares raised an eyebrow. Xena smiled slightly.

"I said - forget it."

"Hey - can't blame a guy for trying." He paused, seeming to wait for something more.

"So," he said finally into the silence, "I guess this is it?"

Xena swallowed. "I guess so." Then, so quietly that no mortal could have heard, she added - "Thank you."

Ares nodded mutely.

Another moment, and he was gone.

For the first time since his appearance, Xena noticed the stirring in the trees - the birds were waking up. The forest was still dark, but somewhere on the invisible horizon, they could sense the sunrise.

Xena's hand crept to her flat abdomen. "Thank you," she repeated to nobody in particular and didn't know whether it was her own restored life she welcomed, or that of the baby. Perhaps it was a little of both.

Sleep By No Means

The guilty get no sleep
In the last slow hours of morning
Experience is cheap
I should've listened to the warning
But the cradle is soft and warm

Crowded House, "Into Temptation"

The small inn room felt close and suffocating. Although it was nearly summer, the nights were still cool and the innkeeper had kept all windows closed in unoccupied rooms to preserve the day's heat. Xena cursed herself for deciding to stay here at all. When she and Gabrielle had entered the inn earlier that day, asking to rent a room, there had been just one available - this one. All others had been rented a few hours beforehand - there was a big celebration in town. Probably a wedding, though Xena wasn't sure. The innkeeper had cooed at the baby, laughing at little Eve's gurgles and squeals of delight, then shaken his head sadly. "I'm afraid the room is a bit stuffy. I haven't been able to get the window open - the darn thing's rusted to the hinges!"

By now, the evening air and the breathing of two adults and one child had made the atmosphere unbearable. How Gabrielle could sleep so soundly, Xena had no idea, but she devoutly wished that Eve would take a leaf out of her friend's book and allow her, too, a few hours of shut-eye before they resumed their journey in the morning. They were on the road to Amphipolis, to see her mother. Cyrene had not seen her granddaughter for months - they had left for Amazon lands just after Eve's birth. Gabrielle had insisted that she give Eve a birthday gift - her right of caste. Now, Eve was a fully fledged Amazon princess - but the royal title had done nothing to improve her sleep patterns.

Xena rocked the baby gently, humming a lullaby under her breath. Eve began to cry again.

"Shhh, Eve..." she whispered, trying in vain to quieten the little girl. "I know it's stuffy. But you have to sleep, baby. And so does mama." She sighed. Sleep had long ago ceased to exist as a fact of life and became a sort of unreachable destination at the end of every day's travel, a wish that held no hope of ever becoming reality. Xena stifled a yawn and returned to rocking the warm little body in her arms.

"Hush, my baby, please don't you cry...

Put your head on my shoulder and sigh,

Sun's gone away, mama will pray,

The silence will keep all the while you're asleep."

Eve stopped crying and closed her eyes sleepily. At last.

A minute later, she opened them again and looked at her mother. With a sigh, Xena started the song from the beginning.

Her voice was growing hoarse. She needed to rest. Xena looked over at the sleeping Gabrielle. Her friend looked so peaceful, lost in the world of her dreams. She did not have the heart to wake her.

A blue flash illuminated the dank room for an instant. Gabrielle muttered something in her sleep and Eve started to cry again.

"Did you have to do that?" Xena whispered angrily to Ares almost before he became visible. "You woke her up!" Her whisper was drowned out by Eve's wailing. Gabrielle, in her bed on the other side of the room, pulled her pillow over her head.

"Haven't worked out how to stop the light show." Ares settled himself on the bed next to Xena unceremoniously. "Besides, she wasn't asleep anyway."

Xena moved away, annoyed. "Well, she certainly isn't now!"

Gods, but she was tired...

"Xena, you need to sleep." Ares got up off the bed and stood in front of her. "You're a zombie. Let me."

He reached down and picked up Eve from Xena's unresisting arms, bouncing the baby slightly to find a comfortable position. The wails ceased immediately. Ares stroked the girl's small forearm with the tip of his finger. Eve closed one tiny fist over his ring with a delighted giggle. Ares grinned at Xena: "Daddy's little girl."

Xena had intended to argue, irritated by his swift success at what she had been trying to achieve for hours, had intended to retrieve her daughter - but looking up at the sight of the leather-clad God of War holding her baby - their baby - she decided against it. All she wanted to do was close her eyes for a few blessed moments. Just a couple of minutes, and then she'd take her back.

"She does not leave this room, Ares. If you take her anywhere..."

Ares motioned silence at her. "Go to sleep, Xena. Eve is just fine. Aren't you?" The last was pitched a good octave higher and addressed to the little girl, who yawned sweetly.

Xena gave in. "Wake me up in ten minutes."

"Sleep." Ares' whisper barely registered in her mind. She was asleep before she was lying down.

Ares paced the room evenly, cradling his daughter, humming a tune without words. In fact, this particular song did have words. They were just unfit for a baby's ears. Eve's eyelids drooped and within a few minutes she was asleep.

Ares sat down on a chair in a corner of the little room, careful not to disturb Eve, and leaned back against the wall to await dawn.

* * *

Despite all evidence to the contrary, Gabrielle was not asleep. 'Ares' arrival could wake the dead - as long as they were not blind, of course,' she thought sourly, lifting the useless pillow off her head. She was annoyed - more at herself than anyone else. Why hadn't she woken up earlier? She'd known that Xena was exhausted. Gabrielle twisted in the uncomfortable bed, wondering how she had managed to fall asleep there at all.

She had tried to get used to the thought of Ares being around. Truly. She had been extremely supportive of Xena's decision to have a child with the God of War. After she had come out of shock, of course. Supportive, Gabrielle could be. Understanding was something else altogether. She mashed the pillow under her cheek, with no noticeable effect. She had asked Xena, point blank - why? The warrior had just sighed and rubbed her temples in that irritating way that told Gabrielle that she was never going to get a satisfactory answer, then said: "I think I saw something in him that day that I had never seen before. Except perhaps when he had been mortal."

What could she have possibly seen? Gabrielle had been dumbfounded. Xena had just shaken her head, as if to dispel half-formed thoughts and changed the subject. And that was that. The only explanation she was ever going to get.

Gabrielle stared at a splinter on the wall, half expecting it to burst into flames at any moment from the sheer frustration in the stare. Ares had tried to convince Xena to take ambrosia and make herself and the child she carried immortal. That hadn't been a success. Gabrielle smirked into her pillow.

Then, he had hovered about them, invisible for the most part, practically breathing down their necks, trying to make sure that Xena did not have to fight in her condition. Finally, a while after the birth, he had appeared bearing a gift for baby Eve. An exquisitely crafted dagger. Not to attack, he had said. To defend. And tiny though she had been, Eve had grabbed onto the leathered handle for dear life and would not be persuaded to let go. That had finally put an end of the awkward situation. Xena had told him to stay away. Not in those words, exactly - but the effect had been the same. And, somewhat surprisingly, he had done so - until recently.

He and Xena had started meeting again, if not amicably, then at least without the anger that followed the disaster with the dagger. Gabrielle supposed Xena felt guilty at not letting Ares close to his child. 'Which brings us back to the beginning,' she thought resentfully, 'why give him that power in the first place?'

She turned onto her other side, observing Ares' silhouette, stretched out on the chair, the furniture tiny in comparison to his well-muscled frame. How strange. To sleep in the same dingy, stifling room as the God of War - cradling a tiny baby in his arms. Gabrielle was certain that Ares thought he was the only one awake in the room, and so she watched him warily - but also, despite herself, with a curious wonder.

That War should hold a child in its arms and do so lovingly - that was strange enough. But what was that sound? At last, she placed it. He was singing. Very, very softly, she could just make out the melody - but surely. Gabrielle knew the ballad and blushed in the darkness. It was a favourite among soldiers and sailors - 'lyrics' was not a word crafted to describe the filth with which it filled ale-soaked drinking halls.

With a resigned sigh, Gabrielle slipped out from under the covers and padded barefoot towards Ares' chair. He watched her approach, breaking off the song, but did not move.

"What's the matter, blondie?" he whispered, gruff impatience in his voice.

Eve's hands were balled into fists, Gabrielle noticed, each smaller than Ares' finger. Ares shifted in his seat, drawing himself up. He was embarrassed and trying not to show it - and somehow, that little display of humanity was very comforting. Gabrielle managed a small smile.

"I'll take her now." She had to admit, though, they did make a pretty picture.

Ares made no move to hand over Eve. "I don't think so. She's asleep. Shouldn't you be, too?"

The momentary understanding vanished. "No. Let me take her, Ares - please."

Ares gave her a look of pure disgust. "You are going to wake up my daughter."

Gabrielle was just going to reply in kind, when a change in the focus of Ares' eyes made her look up. Xena was standing above them, her face totally unamused.

"I'll take her now."

Gabrielle wondered how Xena could make those same words sound so utterly different.

Ares passed the baby into Xena's arms without a word and rose, scoffing in Gabrielle's direction. She pursed her lips, watching the door open and shut behind him. A blue light outlined the door briefly. That was probably his attempt at being considerate. She turned to Xena, who had settled Eve in her arms and preparing to feed her.

"Why didn't you just wake me up?" She had not meant to sound so accusing.

Xena did not take her eyes off the baby. "Gabrielle, she is his daughter."

"I know that, Xena! What I don't understand is - why?" There. She said it.

Her friend's face was suddenly very tired. "Sometimes, Gabrielle," she whispered, stroking Eve's downy hair with a finger, "I don't know why. And then I see her." Xena's cradled Eve's head in the crook of her elbow. "And I know I was not mistaken."

Gabrielle watched Eve for a while, then went back to her uncomfortable, lumpy bed. She knew a lost cause when she saw one - for nine and five months now. She tucked the frayed blanket under her chin and returned to contemplating the splintered wood of the wall.

To Ch'in

Zhauang Zhou in dream became a butterfly,
And the butterfly became Zhuang Zhou at waking.
Which was the real - the butterfly or the man?
Who can tell the end of the endless changes of things?

"Zhang Zhou & The Butterfly" by Li Bo (a 4th century follower of Lao Tzu)

It was not a bad day to be on the road, as far as days and roads generally went. The air was cool and crisp, the forest was humming contentedly and the packed dust that passed for the road to Amphipolis stretched on and on into the green distance, quite oblivious to the three travellers. The horses plodded along happily, relieved to be away from the hard cobblestones of the town, and little Eve squealed with delight when her carriage was placed ahead of her mother in Argo's undulating saddle, enjoying the ride.

"She's a natural." Gabrielle smiled at Xena from the saddle of her own horse.

The warrior smiled back distractedly, her attention focused elsewhere.

Gabrielle reached over and waved an enthusiastic hand in front of her friend's face. "Hello? Earth to Xena! Come down off Olympus, oh mighty warrior princess, and have a look at your daughter riding like a pro, at all of five months of age!"

Xena grabbed the reins of Gabrielle's horse, simultaneously digging her heels into Argo's flanks - another second, and both horses were cantering away, Eve's carriage now slung across Xena's back.

"Xe.. What's the..." Gabrielle tried to catch her breath and keep her balance, succeeding in neither.

Abruptly, Xena pulled the reins and slid off the horse, Eve still on her back. Gabrielle reined in her mount with some difficulty, trying not to lose sight of her friend.

"Who sent you?"

This was apparently addressed to the perfectly innocuous-looking bushes at the side of the road. Gabrielle followed the line of Xena's sight, bemused. She urged her horse a step forward and craned her neck. At last, she saw what had attracted the warrior's attention. There was a fork in the road, the junction partly overgrown with thistle. An lavishly decorated, Oriental-looking carriage stood on the other side of the bushes. Two men were busily trying to cut a path onto the main road, using strange swords with curved blades that seemed woefully out of place as woodcutting implements.

At the sound of Xena's voice, the men paused and raised their eyes. They took one look at Xena's unsmiling face and fell into the dust face-first, swords sliding deftly into jewelled scabbards. Both were wearing identical scarlet embroidered tunics, both had identical black braids that coiled into the dust. Gabrielle jumped off her horse's obliging back, completely baffled.

Xena approached the men, hand resting on her chakram. "I said, who sent you?"

One of the men lifted his face a fraction. "We bear a message for the great Xena, the Warrior Princess. We were told she is headed for Amphipolis. Please, it must be delivered without delay."

Xena hauled the speaker upwards by his braid. "Who sent you?"

The man squirmed in the iron hold. "Her Imperial Majesty, the Empress of Ch'in. Please, my hair!"

A coil of tension gripped Gabrielle. Ch'in. A place she would rather forget. The lovely day did not seem quite so sunny any more.

His braid released, the man rubbed his scalp petulantly, dropping back to his prostrate position. "This message is of the utmost importance. I beg you, do not delay us. We must find Xena!"

After a brief pause, Xena took her hand off her chakram and offered it to the speaker. "I am Xena."

The men climbed to their feet and looked uncertainly at each other, then back at the woman with the baby on her back. "You are she?"

"Yes. I thought you said this message was urgent?"

Both men began to nod emphatically. "Yes-yes, very urgent. But we must be certain, you see - we do not know the great Xena by sight."

Gabrielle moved her leg to feel the comforting steel of her sais within easy reach. Ghosts from the past surfaced in her mind, unbidden - Ming Tien's jeering face foremost of them all. The Green Dragon, the tyrant of Ch'in. A tyrant she had betrayed for - a tyrant Xena had killed. So ... why were these men seeking Xena now?

The smaller of the men fumbled in a carry bag, finally bringing out a piece of reed-paper. "If you are Xena, as you say - then you will know the significance of this?"

He passed the paper to the warrior. Xena took it, examining it briefly. "The Hawk and the Dove must become one with the Wisdom," she read aloud. "Lao Ma's book." She passed the paper back thoughtfully.

The men beamed at her, their joy seeming to encompass the entire group, even the horses. Gabrielle felt herself begin to smile in return and relaxed a little. It was Xena the student of Lao Ma, they sought, not Xena the slayer of the Green Dragon. The past was behind her, after all.

The men looked immensely relieved.

"You are Xena! You must come with us to Ch'in at once! It is a matter of great moment. The Empress has desperate need of you."

The taller of the two packed the paper carefully into his case, then addressed both women. "We do crave your forgiveness for our rudeness - allow me to introduce myself and my companion." He folded his hands and inclined his head. "I am Zhing Li, chief advisor to Her Imperial Majesty, Lao Hsu."

Gabrielle exchanged curious looks with Xena. The Empress was from the house of Lao? Lao Ma's daughter?

Zhing Li continued. "This is councillor Khao Sun, the council secretary."

Khao Sun brought his palms together and bowed in the same formal manner. "It is a great honour to meet you, Warrior Princess." He gave a second bow in Gabrielle's direction. "And likewise your friend."

Gabrielle found her own head bowing - "Gabrielle." Then, feeling that something more formal was required, she added, "The Bard of Potedaia."

"Then we are doubly honoured, Bard," Khao Sun smiled, "Yours is a noble calling." His expression became earnest. "I do hope we are not too late. The Empress is in grave danger - please, we must hurry."

Xena tipped her chin in the direction of the carriage. "You're not planning to travel in that, are you?" The carriage had narrow spoked wheels which had evidently been stuck in more than one mire. Two horses were harnessed to it, placidly ignoring the people around them in favour of nipping at the grass on the roadside.

"Indeed, it has proven most cumbersome on these Greek roads," Zhing Li replied smoothly, "but I'm afraid it is the only means of transport available to us at present."

Xena laughed. "Gabrielle, let's show them what fast travel really means!"

Gabrielle tried to force all thoughts of Lao Ma and debts from her mind, mounting her horse.

"Sure!"

Her tense look did not escape Xena. Her friend's blue eyes were serious. "All debts have been discharged."

Gabrielle nodded, trying to relax. "I know. This is different." She was surprised by the trace of resentment in her voice. Thankfully, Xena ignored it.

The emissaries looked at the horses in horror. "We do not ride!"

Xena shrugged, lifting herself into the saddle, adjusting Eve's carriage on her back. "Suit yourselves. But if I were you, I'd unharness those horses and lead the way, because that carriage isn't going anywhere soon."

Gabrielle watched as the men shifted uncomfortably, obviously unwilling to forgo the comfort and dignity of the carriage and leave it behind. At length, they stepped back and began unharnessing the horses. Belatedly, Gabrielle realised that Xena had intended this as a test - devoted advisors would be willing to risk everything for a truly vital mission. Judging by the satisfied expression on Xena's face, the men had passed with flying colours. Gabrielle pulled her mount closer to Argo. "Xena, will you tell me what this is all about? I thought you wanted to visit Cyrene."

Xena patted Argo's flank, looking at the men. "I'm not sure, Gabrielle - but I have a theory."

"And that is...?"

"They're after Lao Ma's book. And they need a Key."

Gabrielle gave her friend a confused look. "You've lost me."

Xena unfastened Eve's carriage and seated her daughter in the saddle in front of her as the emissaries rode up to the two women, then moved Argo aside gently to allow them to pass.

"Lead the way".

The men rode up ahead. As Khao Sun's mount trotted past, the man gave Xena another small bow. "Thank you," he said simply. "From the daughter of Lao Ma."

"You can fill us in on the details along the way."

Noting the 'us', Gabrielle gave her friend a grateful look, which Xena returned.

"We're going together, Gabrielle. You and I - and Eve."

Gabrielle grinned, then urged her horse forward, revelling in the feel of the air. All at once, the day had regained its beauty. Xena had meant what she'd said about all debts being discharged. They would do this together - and quite unexpectedly, a new Ch'in beckoned. Not a land of betrayal, guilt and darkness - but a land she had never really seen, one that held a mysterious magnetism, a land she would love to explore. The adventurer in Gabrielle stirred and welcomed this newfound freedom. She had not thought to see this day - but here she was, riding beside her friend, turning off the familiar road to Amphipolis and heading for Ch'in, happier than she had felt in many long months. Indeed, Fortune could be a capricious lady.

The Key

When you see her sweet smile, baby
Don't think of me
When she laughs in your warm arms,
Don't think of me

Dido, "Don't think of me"

The carriage was cramped and far from comfortable, but it was at least a change from the green-grey monotony of the sea passage. Gabrielle pushed a curtain aside, careful not to admit enough light to wake the baby or disturb one of Xena's rare moments of sleep, and looked outside.

Impossibly green scenery trundled past, the chequerboard of rice paddies and the occasional village flowing across valleys and rolling hills. Farmers in wide-brimmed hats laboured in the fields, but they were too far from the road for Gabrielle to note more than the obvious - despite the lushness of the landscape, the land had the taint of lingering poverty.

Xena had told her, briefly, what she suspected. Lao Ma's book was a sought-after prize, one the new Empress clearly had set her sights on. However, opening the tome would have been no mean feat. Fearful lest the book fall into the wrong hands, Lao Ma had sealed it with its own power. Only the first page had remained visible, and it was a copy of this page that had been dispatched with the emissaries.

"The Hawk and the Dove must become one with the Wisdom" - Lao Ma had left nothing to chance. Two people, working together, could form the Key to release the seal on the book. One of them had to be skilled in Lao Ma's power, had to have tasted both its light and its darkness and embraced both - the Hawk. The other - the Dove - had to be pure, uncorrupted by power of any kind. It was a clever scheme, Gabrielle thought - the wisdom accessible only to those who understood the full implications of wielding power.

Would the Empress possess such insight?

The carriage emerged from a valley into the last pastel-soft rays of the sun. Up ahead, unsettlingly close, was the Imperial palace, its curled roofs winking gold in the fading light. Gabrielle steeled herself against the flood of painful memories - they belonged firmly in the past, buried with the last ashes of Ming Tien's dictatorship.

By the time the carriage passed under the archway of the palace gates, it was completely dark.

* * *

Xena's room in the spacious guest apartments, like the rest of Lao Hsu's palace, was decorated with painted screens and fragrant carved wood, tasselled lanterns bathing it in a warm glow. The air was rich with a heady mixture of perfumes that drifted in through the open window from the garden below. A partially screened doorway in the far wall led out to the corridor. Another door, opposite it, led to the adjacent room which was Gabrielle's.

Xena and Gabrielle sat on the edge of the small raised bed, surrounded by cushion-rolls. Eve's crib was next to them; the little girl's whispering breaths the only sounds in the room. Xena watched Eve sleep, lost in thought. For her part, Gabrielle watched Xena.

Their journey had been surprisingly uneventful, even pleasant, despite the haste. They were to meet the Empress in the morning - a slight, necessary, delay that allowed both women a few hours to catch up on sleep and attend to their own needs, as well as that of the baby.

Khao Sun and Zhing Li had proven quiet companions, keeping to themselves for the most part, only speaking to point out this feature or that, a mountain or a road. They knew a great deal about the country, Gabrielle had discovered, and about its people, too. The latter had come as a surprise to her, she had expected the advisors to an Empress to be insulated within their own world of power and privilege, hardly aware of the plight of the common folk. Yet as the party had made their way past rice fields and small farms, fishing villages and the occasional monastery, the emissaries had not seemed reticent in their answers to Gabrielle's curious enquiries, even going so far as to remark on the economic problems faced by the fishermen in that year, or the boon harvest of rice expected after the timely rains, that would nevertheless be insufficient to make up for the poor harvest of the preceding year. That neither of the men had sought to conceal problems had been evident - but puzzling.

Gabrielle had remarked on this to Xena one day, as they travelled through a stunningly beautiful valley, framed with oddly carved hills. The scenery was breathtaking in a peculiar splendour, so unlike the simple landscapes of Greece. .

"The Empress selected these men for a reason, Gabrielle," Xena had shrugged in response. "Part of their job is making sure that we're on their side."

"So - you think she chose them because she knows that we'd be more likely to aid her if we thought she cared about her people?"

Xena's face had remained impassive. "Make up your own mind, Gabrielle - and tell me once we get to the palace." And on this subject, she would say no more.

Gabrielle now reached for the rail of Eve's crib - a wooden cot suspended between the head and tail of a stylised dragon. "Here, let me. Take a break for a while." She settled into the pile of cushions on the bed, as Xena moved aside. "Remember how you wanted me to tell you what I thought about the Empress' choice of emissaries?"

Xena leaned against the headboard, folding her arms behind her head. "Well?"

Gabrielle gave the cradle a small nudge to keep it swinging.

"Well, I don't know what to think. Maybe she really does care about her people. Or maybe she just wants Lao Ma's book for herself and was using Khao Sun and Zhing Li to sweeten us up a bit." She glanced in Xena's direction, biting her lip nervously. "And everything depends on this answer, doesn't it? Because if Lao Ma's power should fall into the wrong hands..."

"Hm - not a bad assessment." Xena's eyes sparkled in amusement. "What d'ya know, you're not as blonde as you look!"

Gabrielle swung a fist at Xena in mock outrage. "Hey!"

Xena caught her hand and gave it a conciliatory pat. "But don't worry, it'll be at least another week before your roots start showing."

Gabrielle rolled her eyes. "Come on, I'm serious! Tell me what you think! Can we trust her?"

"No." Xena sat up again to join Gabrielle by Eve's side, rocking the cradle. "It's not that I distrust her. But we can't afford to risk trust - the stakes are too high. Whether she wants the power for herself or her people is only one part of it. The question is, what does she want with this power, once she has it? Remember what I told you about the Key?"

Gabrielle tried to recall Xena's exact words. "Yes... I think so. Lao Ma's book needs two people to open it. Two souls, entwined, make the Key." Gabrielle paused, conjuring the missive before her eyes. "The Hawk and the Dove must become one with the Wisdom."

Xena pulled a long strand of her hair out of Eve's grasping hands and flicked it back. "Yes. Two souls - one with Lao Ma's power..."

"...And one that is pure." Gabrielle finished. "The Dove."

"Right. But there's a catch. The two have to be entwined somehow. Connected, so that they can complete the pattern that seals Lao Ma's book and open it."

Gabrielle thought this over. "And this is why they sought you out - because you were her student. You understand Lao Ma's power."

Xena nodded. "The Hawk."

"So - who's the Dove?" Gabrielle looked at her friend in consternation. There was an unpleasant sensation in the pit of her stomach - a sort of dread that threatened to resolve into realisation.

"Me?"

She was not sure that she wanted this distinction, but if Xena needed her help...

"No." There was a hint of apology in her friend's voice.

Gabrielle's hand froze to Eve's cradle. "I'm not the Dove?"

"No."

Fool.

Understanding dawned without warning. She was not the 'Dove' - she was nothing. Nothing in this equation of Lao Ma's - nothing but a tagalong on the whole mission. Her soul was not pure, it had long since been tarnished by darkness.

A flood of memories filled her senses.

Xena, in stocks in the palace dungeons - Gabrielle's own hand reaching, as if in slow motion, to slap her friend's face. The slap ringing against wet stone.

She had betrayed her friend - and though they had both buried the past long ago, the scars were still there, deep within her - she could not deny it. Even more than losing her blood innocence, her betrayal had darkened her soul. What a fool she had been, to think herself so light and pure! Idiot. Gabrielle of Potedaia had long ago ceased being a dove in any equation.

Xena tried to reach her friend's hand, but Gabrielle snatched it away, angry that Xena should see it trembling.

"Who... who is it, then?" She knew her voice was ugly now, sarcastic. "Ares?"

She did not truly care. She just wanted to run outside now, away from this cursed place, saddle her horse and ride for home.

"It's Eve."

Gabrielle closed her eyes momentarily. Of course! She had stupidly thought that the connection between her soul and Xena's was somehow enough to fit this riddle - enough to redeem her? She'd forgotten all about Eve! Gabrielle quashed a sudden pang of jealousy, totally unreasonable, but all the more intense for its lack of logic. Little Eve was everything that Gabrielle was not. She held a place in Xena's soul - she was her light.

Gabrielle's hands gripped the side of the crib feverishly. She could not recall feeling so - alone? useless? - since meeting Xena. If she could not be her light, her anchor - what was she? What was she? What? Hot tears welled, spilling over.

She had to leave, go - get out of this place. She turned and ran for the door, but felt herself caught from behind before she had reached the other side of the room. "Let me go, Xena!" she struggled. Her voice woke up Eve, who began to whimper, infuriating Gabrielle further. "Please! Just let me go!"

A gentle hand rubbed at her cheek, leaving it wet - then she felt herself enveloped in a hug, half-friendship, half-restraint.

"Gabrielle, you're the most beautiful thing in my life. Don't you dare leave me!"

She swivelled to face her friend. Xena's eyes were dark and, Gabrielle could not help thinking, a little scared. She felt her anger dissolving, shame settling in.

"Xena... I'm - I'm sorry."

"Shhh..."

Gabrielle wasn't sure if that had been meant to calm her or Eve, but it seemed to have worked for both. She wiped at her face, noticing Eve do the same in her bed. The sight brought a small smile to her face. She hugged Xena fiercely, then stepped back.

"All right, Warrior Princess," she managed to steady her voice. "I'm not going anywhere ... and you have only yourself to blame. You can't get rid of me that easily!"

Xena clasped her hand. "Good! Now, let's get some sleep, huh? Tomorrow's going to be a long day."

"Yeah." Gabrielle rubbed at her face. "You're right. I'll wake you up at dawn then."

Xena laughed. "Sure, sleepyhead - whatever you say." Then, her voice growing serious, "Gabrielle?"

"Yeah?"

"I wanted you to know - I'm really glad we're in this together."

Gabrielle squeezed Xena's hand, then turned back towards her own adjoining room. She stopped by Eve's cradle on her way, rocking it a little. "Good night, little one." Then she was gone.

Xena watched her friend leave, then blew out the lanterns and lay on the bed, watching the darkness. She had a lot of thinking to do before dawn.

War, Wisdom and the Webs We Weave

Oh, what tangled webs we weave
When we first bring into the world
Little Adam, little Eve

20th century poem, author unknown.
(If you recognise it, please email me)

Ares sat, concealed from mortal eyes, on the very edge of a cliff high above a beach. He looked down on the battle from his vantage point on a knarled branch of an oak and cursed irritably. Xena had left Greece days ago, without so much as a word. One moment she's on the road to Amphipolis - next day - gone, taking Eve with her. Now he could not see or feel either of them. Why hadn't he thought to check up on her after that time in the inn?

The fighting had raged since dawn on the now-reddish sand and, judging from the tide marks, it was now well past noon. In all that time, he had not seen a single decent engagement. He had tried a few different battlefields, all with the same result. Eventually he had returned here, for no other reason than the old oak at least provided a comfortable viewing position.

Even the cause of the present bloodshed was stupefyingly mundane, insufficient to distract him from his thoughts. Two towns going to war over an abducted princess, or some equally silly notion. The two armies were mediocre in every way, but in that they were well matched and the battle looked set to continue well into the evening.

Perhaps the only mildly amusing thing about the whole day had been the princess herself, pushed out in front of her father's army as proof that she still lived, and was therefore worth fighting for. The young woman had been nothing special to look at - a mousy little thing with reddish hair - but she had stood there, looking at the assembled armies in defiant hatred, and did not attempt to beg for help, even when the men holding her had twisted her arms behind her back cruelly, intent on agitating her father. It was clearly not a case of elopement - just an ordinary kidnap and extortion, nothing exciting. The old king had torn at his clothes and wailed, but his daughter had shown far more stoicism. That is, until they had brought out her child. The little blonde boy had toddled about a little, before they caught him and held him away from the mother - just enough that she couldn't reach him. That's when she had finally cried out. They tied her up, of course, and her son - both were now held securely at the foot of the Ares' cliff, out of range of arrows, but sufficiently close to ensure that the goods did not disappear mysteriously during the battle.

At the rate the battle was progressing, they'd all starve to death before either side could claim victory. Ares cursed again and shot a small bolt of fire at some wooden shielding at the back of one of the army positions - the kidnapper's army - and watched with half-hearted interest as men scurried from the spontaneously combusting structure, trying in vain to salvage some of the arrows held behind it. Finally, the whole thing exploded, destroying part of the kidnapper's weapons cache, but injuring no-one. The battle continued.

An intense heat next to him coalesced suddenly into the exact reverse of the fireball below and dissolved into a slender redhead in gold armour. Ares groaned. Just what he needed...

"Hello, brother." Somehow, Athena could make a simple greeting sound smug.

"Athena. What a lovely surprise," Ares said, pretending a sudden intense interest in the blood-soaked sand below. "To what do I owe the honour?"

"Actually," Athena replied, following the direction of his gaze, "I should be the surprised one here. It's not every day the God of War decides to skew the balance of a battle against the villain."

"Screw the what?" he needled deliberately, just to see her wince at the word.

Athena indicated the charred remains of the shielding in the distance. "That fireball must have taken out a quarter of their arrows, you know they were relying on their archers to secure the flanks. King Tobias may get his daughter back after all." She regarded Ares levelly. "I never thought I'd say this, brother, but I'm proud of what you just did."

He shrugged and tossed another fireball in the direction of an identical shield at the back of King Tobias' army. Athena gave a stifled gasp as it exploded, showering debris and arrowheads on the men around it.

Ares smirked. "Unlike you, dear sister, I don't play favourites."

"Oh really? Excuse me if I'm missing something here, but weren't you the one swaggering around Olympus, trying to arrange for some mortal spawn of yours to be given a mouthful of ambrosia practically before the child was out of your pet's womb? Hm?"

Ares rose to stand on the branch, towering over his sister. "Oh please, if it isn't daddy's little girl! Why don't you go preach you morality fables to him instead? I'm sure he'd be delighted to see you."

"Do you imagine," Athena's pale eyes shot cold indignation at him, "that every mongrel you sire should be welcomed in the pantheon with arms wide open? Even our father doesn't allow himself that!"

Ares rolled his eyes. "Well, we all know that Dad's a walking advertisement for self-restraint." He glanced down shrewdly. "And swallowing your mother whole so that you would not be born was, of course, the pinnacle of gentlemanly conduct."

That found its mark, Athena flinched. Ares moved in for the kill, smiling daggers at her. "So, who's the mongrel here, dear sister?"

Athena's discomposure was only momentary. She smiled at him beatifically. "You can insult our father and myself all you like, brother, but you can't hide from the truth. You sired a mortal brat, and now she's a liability." She turned to look at the battle, deliberately ignoring his reaction. "Too bad the ambrosia thing didn't work out, isn't it? Xena always was a sensible woman, she saw right through your little scheme."

"I was trying to prevent exactly this situation!" Ares roared, furious that she had been able to get under his skin, again.

Athena appeared to ignore his outburst. "... So now Xena's running around with that kid of yours, and you can't even keep tabs on the brat, because every last drop of her blood is pure mortal. Isn't that right, brother?"

Ares thought about pushing his sister right off the branch and imagined her screaming the long way to the ground, limbs flailing, before landing on top of the chained princess below. He decided against it.

"Not that it's any of your business, but I can see my daughter whenever I choose."

"More like when Xena chooses, Ares - and then, she up and takes off to some foreign place," Athena flicked her arms, "Just like that." She gave Ares a pitying look. "And poor daddy is left to wonder what Xena and baby are doing, all the way in Ch'in. You're as blind as a mortal, Ares - the kid could be dead for all you know, and you'd have no clue."

Ares balled his fists until his knuckles turned white. How did Athena always manage to hit where it hurt most? He turned away from her self-satisfied smirk, but she simply reappeared on the other side of him on the branch.

"Take my advice, brother," she said, "and forget Xena and the kid. Getting involved in the whole ugly mess was stupid enough - but getting attached is worse still. Take control of the situation, Ares - or someone else will."

Was she actually threatening him?

"Lay a finger on either of them, Athena, and I can personally guarantee you'll discover just what an 'ugly mess' really is."

Athena sighed in exasperation. "I have no interest in playing your idiotic games, Ares, but trust me when I say that your little slumming expedition isn't going to end well - because someone, somewhere is bound to figure out that the big bad God of War cares about a teeny weeny mortal baby which he can't even sense. It doesn't take a Goddess of Wisdom to see that it's going to end badly."

Before Ares could reply, the twang of a bowstring sounded just below - both gods looked down to see an arrow whiz towards the chained princess. It missed, hitting the stone above her shoulder, but it was followed by another, aimed at the boy. Ares pointed his finger and the arrow exploded in mid-flight, the too-large fireball sending the terrified archers back from the prisoners. He fired another bolt at the woman and her son and the two mortals scurried for cover, freed, as a nearby chariot burst apart into wooden chips. He'd had enough of this battle.

Athena glared at him. "If you're going to release your frustrations, Ares, at least try not to blow up any expensive equipment." She stood back from him and a gold glow enveloped her. "If you don't understand that you're jeopardising your godhood, brother, you're a bigger fool than I thought."

The glow expanded and flared as Athena vanished.

Ares looked at the place where she had stood, then shot a bolt of pure anger at it, somersaulting backwards out of the resulting fireball. He watches as the ancient oak rustled in the blaze, then toppled slowly over the edge of the precipice. Screams of soldiers below echoed its landing.

"Bitch," Ares said after it, with all the conviction he could muster. He hoped Xena did not plan on staying away from Greece for too long.

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