A small insect fought the powerful wind that threatened to suck it into oblivion. It flapped its wings repeatedly, attempting to distance itself from Gabrielle’s nostril. The bard finally exhaled and sent the tiny creature half way across Greece.

Ares sat on a boulder, Xena’s sword still firmly stuck in his gut, contemplating his ‘other half’s’ mood. The Warrior Princess was on the opposite side of the fire, violently hacking away at a fish, all while keeping eye contact with the God of War.

The confused God took a breath before slowly opening his mouth. “What did I do?”

He had said it so innocently, so genuinely stumped, Xena threw her chakram and it firmly lodged itself into his arm.

~~**~~

“What about Hagno?” Hercules asked his best friend after dinner.

“Say her name slowly and then think about it, Hag-no!” Iolaus shoved a piece of cheese into his mouth.

“Ah, you have a point. What about Harmonia?”

“Does that woman ever shut up?” The hunter grabbed a wineskin and started drinking.

“I guess not. Harpalyce? We haven’t seen her in a while.”

“Beaten to death with sticks, it was in the Athens Times.”

“Must have missed that edition. Hebe?”

“Herc, you’re related to her.”

“Oh gross.”

~~**~~

Ares wondered how many more weapons Xena could have on her. They had to talk, something was obviously bothering her.

“Ah sugar muffin...” Xena reached for her breast dagger, “can we talk about this?”

Another weapon of war entered Ares body, this time just below his knee. The God of War carefully pulled out the dagger, followed by the chakram and then the sword. He set them aside, well away from Xena and approached her warily.

“I know you are angry about something.”

“Oh really, aren’t you ‘Mr in tune’,” she snapped back.

“Attitude!”

“Pompous Ass!”

“Harpie!”

“Hercules Brother!”

“Marry me?”

“Yes!”

~~**~~

“Hercules, I can get you the perfect date. All you have to do is trust me.” Iolaus wiggled his eyebrows.

“I don’t know buddy, but then again you do know what I like.”

“Yes I do. Blonde, tanned, strong.”

“Spot on. Okay, I trust you, find me a date.”

“Oh I have the perfect person in mind.”

~~**~~

Next week on a all new Xena.

Will Hercules date turn out to be more than the hero expected? Will Xena and Ares announce their engagement at the Olympus Charity Ball? Will Gabrielle swallow an average of 2500 bugs during the duration of this series?

These answers and more in next weeks episode ‘The Bold and the Beautiful’, battle on Xena!

The Bold and the Beautiful