Resurrection
by Taleen

It was Xena's choice. It was the right thing to do. I did what she asked—I let her go. It was the right thing to do. Wasn't it?

Sometime in the middle of the night the campfire had faded to glowing embers, dull red eyes peeping out from the pile of ash, half-burnt sticks and stone. Clouds drifted together, scudding across the moon's single leering orb and obscuring the stars. Gabrielle shifted restlessly, blankets bunching around her hips and baring her shoulders. She shivered and clawed at them ineffectually and whimpered a little as images, benign at first, flooded her brain.

It was the seventh night with the same dream. The monk. The boat. Akemi—something about her…not quite… but the thought withered away. The warmth of Xena's love made her smile in her sleep. Everything would be all right, but then it wasn't. The pinch lesson. Why? Why now? What had she not understood? Why hadn't she guessed Xena's intent?

She knew that her best friend, her soulmate, was dead—the first proof had been Xena's fingers unable to hold her Chakram—yet her spirit could touch me… I felt her touch… I felt it… she tried to maintain a positive outlook …they'd both been dead before… no big deal… she could handle it… Xena would find a way to come back… but then the reality, the horror of this death— was far worse than any other.

Every night Gabrielle tried to wake up when it reached this point, but the dream-turned-nightmare dug its bony fingers into her mind and wouldn't let go. The images got worse. Xena's body punctured with arrows, a meaty, bloody quiver. Strung up. Naked. Feet dangling. Headless. In the rain Gabrielle's vision blurred and she turned her back, only to see the head on a low table, dark hair lying limp in the mud… the beautiful face bruised and bloody…

A new element… Xena's blue eyes suddenly snapped open—staring at me. The dead lips moved, but there was no breath to push out the sound. I can't hear what you're saying. What are you trying to tell me?

Toss, turn, twist.

Insistent pounding at the doors of her consciousness.

"Gabrielle…"

The faraway voice nudging, nudging…

"Gabrielle, I need you… "

Dream, memory, nightmare? Straining to hear… "Xena?"

"Gabrielle… help me… "

The voice seemed to grow stronger.

"How, Xena?" Gabrielle mumbled in her sleep. "How?"

"Gabrielle… save me… "

The Bard’s eyes snapped open as she sat up. The moon and stars were completely hidden by the cloud cover now and the fire was dead and cold—she could see nothing. "Xena…" she whispered forlornly, huddling in her blankets. "Are you there?"

She got no answer. Letting Xena go—it had been the right thing to do. Hadn't it?

The Bard felt lethargic in the morning, hardly able to get out of her own way. Her eyes were full of grit and her mouth tasted like boiled dung. Or how, in her bardic fashion, she imagined it would taste.Every muscle ached, every fiber of her being was strung taut ready to break. Lack of sleep and bad dreams will do that, she told herself. She had to snap out of it.

She hopped on the rocks, wobbled and caught her balance on the slope of the biggest one, out where the river ran deep and clear. Kneeling, she let the bucket slosh into the water and jog about until it filled. Sunlight glancing off the rushing river, the wings of dragonflies sparkling, the drone of insects… she fell into a light daze.

Hey! Wake up! You have to be more alert. You never know who might be in these woods. Gabrielle shook her head, pulled up the pail with a grunt and sat there in the sun, looking about. Had she heard Xena's voice? Her gaze dropped to the bucket—it seemed as if a face struggled to form on the wavering surface of the liquid within. The water stilled, the image steadied—Xena!

"Gabrielle… "

"Xena? Xena! Where are you?" She reached out to stroke her friend's face and nearly dumped the bucket in her haste.

"I'm in Jappa's Otherworld..."

"Xena, I've had these awful dreams about you!" She forced her hand back, curling her fingers into a fist against her mouth. Tears started, she tried to blink them back, but they ran down her cheek. "By the Gods, Xena—there's something wrong, isn't there?"

"I haven't much time. If they catch me I won't have another chance… you have to help me, Gabrielle."

"You know I will, Xena, "Gabrielle nodded. Please let this not be a dream! "I love you. I miss you so much." She cuddled the bucket on her lap and hardly dared breathe, lest her breath destroy the miracle. "Xena, just tell me how!"

"Gabrielle… " the spectral warrior's expression softened in a way only her closest friends had ever seen, "I've missed you. I love you too. But we have to hurry. You have to bring me back. Please, Gabrielle. I need you to try. It's… not what I thought here…Akemi lied."

"Akemi—?" Anger surged to the forefront but the blonde Amazon warrior tamped it down. No, she wouldn’t think of that one now. Xena had trusted her, and Gabrielle hadn't questioned her friend's instincts. "Bring you back? Yes. Oh yes, Xena! How do I save you? Tell me how!"

"You need to bring my ashes to the Sacred Spring."

Oh crap. She felt her heart drop through her chest and into her gut. "Xena, there might be a little problem there. I… scattered them."

The apparition’s eyes closed. "Then… I’m trapped."

Devastated, the Bard whispered, "Xena, I thought I was doing a good thing. I scattered them over all of Greece, from the air—it was a symbolic thing. I wanted you to be our protector. Ares even helped—"

"Ares?" Xena looked surprised.

"Yes, Ares—he carried me up—wait a minute." Gabrielle grew excited. "Ares has some. Maybe he could—"

"Ares has some of my ashes? Why?"

"Because he asked for them. Xena," the Bard smiled tentatively, "He said 'Please'."

She looked puzzled, then pressed her lips together. "It's all right, Gabrielle. See if he'll give them to you. But if he says, 'What’s in it for me?' I'd rather stay dead."

"Xena, he won’t! Much as I hate to say this, I think you’re wrong about him."

"He’s won you over too, has he?"

"No, Xena, I simply believe he cares about you. I believe he’ll help us, without strings."

"For old times’ sake?" Could a ghost snort?

"He loves you, Xena."

"Yes." Xena shut her eyes. "Yes I know. But I didn't know you did."

"Xena, I'm not blind. I've seen the way he looks—looked at you."

She sighed regretfully. "Maybe you’re right. Ask him. But—"

"We’ll find another way if we have to. I’ll get you back one way or another. But he can make it a whole lot easier for us."

"I have to go now, I think I hear her…I love you, Gabrielle."

"I love you too, Xena," Gabrielle whispered as the water returned to its ordinary state. "I'll get you back if it kills me," she vowed, staring into her own reflection. "I'll make Ares help. Somehow."

Gabrielle rode up to the steps of Ares’ temple and hesitated to dismount. Weeds grew in the courtyard that had once been immaculate. The ground was pitted, the bottoms of the holes coated with black ash. Had he been practicing with his firebolts since regaining his immortality? She remembered, whenever he'd been powerless in the past, that was the first thing he did to prove himself… She patted Argo II on the neck and swung herself off, being careful where she put her feet.

On the bottom step she stopped and looked up at the black and grey doors. What if I'm wrong? What if Ares had reverted to the son of a bitch they had always believed him to be? Without the chance of being with the Warrior Princess maybe he'd feel that he had no reason to change. That was one side of the equation, but there was another. Xena feared falling back into darkness, but the Ares Gabrielle had seen, the one who'd treated the small blonde with a kind of awkward big brotherly affection, seemed to love and accept Xena as she was now. Maybe Xena should have given him a chance, especially after he became mortal for their sakes… Maybe we both should have.

Gabrielle took a deep breath—or, maybe not. Only one way to find out which it's gonna be.

The interior was dark and dreary, with only a few candles casting a faint glow over the symbols of death and war that lent an overwhelmingly leaden feel to the decor. Swords, shields and a rack of spears hung or leaned against one wall. A few statues gathered dust in a corner; her finger, swiped along one helmeted bust, came away smudged. She turned her eyes away from the stacked up skulls near the dais. No wonder Ares is the way he is, living with this all of the time. Depressing.

How much does he really love Xena? Enough to want her back? Or, alive, at least. Gabrielle began to have second thoughts. What will he ask in return? Would it be something either she or Xena could pay? Do we need him?

But if he loved her still, if he had changed, even a little, as Gabrielle prayed he had… dammit, was certain he had… almost certain, she amended… would he ask anything at all? She strengthened her resolve and approached the vacant throne. I believe in him.

"Ares? Are you there?"

When they were done spreading the ashes he'd said to call if she ever needed anything. She hadn't expected to, but here she was. Glancing about, she noted the bare altar. Maybe he didn't come here anymore. That would explain the air of neglect…

A tingle in the air made her lift her head. "Ares?"

Star-shattering light signaled his arrival. He formed next to the dusty altar and glanced about with distaste. He caught sight of her, tipped his head as he recognized her and seemed glad to see her, until the mask of indifference dropped over his face.

He turned his back and strolled to his throne.Gabrielle noticed his attempt to shield himself, to marshal his emotions and hide his curiosity, and felt better about her mission. She followed him up onto the dais.

Why is she here? What does she want from me? "Gabrielle," he said gruffly. "I never expected to see you again." Ares sprawled casually in the seat and hooked his fingers together over his belt, letting his eyes monitor her as she strode back and forth in front of him.

"Nor I you. But I need—a favor." She raised her hand, warding the expected sarcasm. "Before you say anything, hear me out. I need Xena’s ashes."

His right hand darted inside his vest and closed over the velvet pouch; he drew it out slowly and stared at it. The only woman he'd ever loved…

Ares brought the pouch to his lips, remembered he had a witness and let his hand drop away. "You had her love, her trust… you carry her Chakram…" his eyes darted to the round weapon pinned on her hip. "This is all I have left of her. You want me to give it up?"

"I need it. And… I need your help."

He cast a suspicious glance her way. "To do what?"

"To bring Xena back."

He shoved the bag back into his vest and exploded off the throne. She stepped back in surprise but not far enough; he grabbed her by the upper arms and shook her.

"Don’t trifle with me, Gabrielle. We are not on the farm anymore. We are not equals. I am the God of War and I could kill you in an instant!"

She hadn't been this close to him since he'd gotten his full power back. His dark eyes bored into hers from inches away and his fingers made deep, bloodless impressions on her skin. Anger crackled in the air around him, like a corona around the sun in eclipse, vibrating through his body; his violence scared her.

Oh gods I was wrong! He's going to kill me! I'm dead, I'm dead—

She fought off her panic. No, Xena's dead. And I need his help to get her back. Gabrielle brought her arms up and shoved sideways against his gauntlets until he sneered at her effort and let her go. She rubbed over the imprints of his fingers and tried to quell her alarm.

"I’m not playing games, Ares. Xena says… her reasons for staying dead… were based on a lie."

The War God's face blanched. He stumbled back to his throne and sat down with an audible thump. "Xena says? You've spoken to her? She wants to come back?"

Gabrielle dropped her gaze. She could read his thoughts in his eyes, his fear and his sudden hope, clear as in her own scrolls. She wished she had some assurance to give him, but she had none. She could only tell him the truth as she knew it.

"She… came to me in… a vision. She says if I bring her ashes to the Sacred Spring in Jappa she can live again. There may be more to it than that but… if you help me," she asked, trying to maintain her dignity, "if we work together, she can come back. Isn’t that what you want?" To be with her, if she'll have you?

"Ares?" To hell with dignity. I'll beg if I have to.

"Isn't that what we both want? Ares?"

Ares raised his eyes and stared unseeing into the void.

He stood abruptly. "Well? Are you ready?"

Gabrielle piled her gear into a corner of the temple and left Argo to graze free outside. This is going to work. I have a God on my side. A God, moreover, in love. Let’s see Akemi fight that!

Ares paced and fumed, fumed and paced, waiting impatiently for her to prepare herself.

"All right Ares," she took a deep breath, "I’m ready."

"About bloody well time. Let's go."

Once before Ares had wrapped his arms around her—when he’d carried her into the sky to scatter Xena’s ashes. This time she buried her face in his chest and trusted him to get her to Jappa safely. He gave off a slightly musky manscent, not unpleasant; his arms were strong, his chest hard. Don't even think it! But no, though she was plastered against his body she felt no evidence of arousal on his part. His thoughts, his desire, were apparently only for Xena. The annoying little blonde would hardly be his cup of nectar. Fleetingly she wondered what it might be like to be with Ares—Perdicus had been the first and last man for her and they'd only had one night together. She felt the blood rising in her face and scolded herself for thinking such things.

Ares felt her skin grow hot, looked down at the top of her head and smiled. Am I giving you a thrill, Gabrielle? He tightened his hold. Enjoy it while it lasts.

When she looked up again, after a disorienting thrust through the ether, they had landed on a snowy ledge. The Spring bubbled about hundred feet away, bathed in a glowing white light. Ares loosened his grip and she slipped free, keeping her face turned away to hide her confusion and embarrassment. She pointed unsteadily to their destination. "There. All we have to do is pour the ashes in the water."

"That’s it? I thought you said there was more to it?"

"Well, there might be some objections. From the other spirits. And from …her." She mouthed the name, not daring to say it aloud—"Akemi."

Ares shrugged. "Is that all?"

"Well… I’m not sure if we... have enough ashes…”

"It’s never easy, is it?"

"If it's worth doing—"

"Yeah, yeah," he snarled and strode past her, smack into an invisible wall.

Gabrielle muffled her laughter. It had been funny, seeing the God of War fall on his ass in the snow, but she deemed it best to have a straight face by the time he looked her way. The thought of the obstacle sobered her—was this only the first hurdle in their quest to rescue Xena? How many more would there be?

A blinding blizzard sprang up from nowhere, coating their hair and skin and clothing with freezingwhite flakes. Their breath bloomed in the frigid air, and icicles began to form in Ares' beard. He growled and powered up three blue firebolts, one after another, and left them hovering in the air. The snow melted in a ring around them; Gabrielle thought she would melt too, until Ares noticed the sweat standing out on her skin. He shrugged; with a simple gesture he threw up a shield around her. The Bard sighed thankfully as the temperature became comfortable for her.

The War God took another step, splayed his hands on the wall and called up still more power until the barrier sizzled and spat and dissolved in glowing shards at his feet. He glanced over at the Bard, gestured, "After you", and they both stepped over the pale ground, heading for the spring.

Three samurai appeared as shadows moving out of the brightness surrounding their goal. Their armor shone silver, their katanas wickedly curved and honed to a preternatural sharpness. Another test. Gabrielle knew they could hurt her—she wondered if they could hurt Ares. But he's a god…

Gabrielle's Chakram took off the head of the further warrior while Ares focused on the other two. He disemboweled the first quickly, but he still had the largest of the three to deal with—this one had more intelligence, more sense of strategy, more… By…Me—, the thing knows what I'm thinking—it doesn't have to outguess me, it knows what I'm gonna do!

"Gabrielle, start singing!"

"What?" She grabbed her spinning weapon out of the air as it returned. Two enemies were down; Ares was battling the last. She cast her eyes around, fearing more would appear.

"Nonsense rhymes, kid stuff, whatever. Distract me."

"Distract you? What about him?" she shouted.

"Just do it!" He swung his sword in a flurry of little slashes and was blocked each time.

"I don't remember any!"

"By Olympus' peak, aren't you supposed to be a Bard! Make something up! And hurry!"

She shut her eyes and hollered out the first thing that came into her head, "There once was a God named Ares, who didn't believe in fairies—no that won't do… "

"Gabrielle!" He leapt above a low slice and aimed for the fiend's neck. He missed.

"The time has come, the Scylla said, to talk of many things, of cats and cups and carpet tacks, of broccoli and wings… "

"Keep going!" His last parry wasn't quite successful—the samurai's sword nicked his arm. "I'm bleeding here! This bastard's sword is magic!"

"I'm trying! Ares had a little lamb, its fleece was made of gold, and everywhere that Ares went, Jason was sure to follow—Ares, I don't know any children's songs!" she cried.

"Never mind." He spun and ducked, and his blade sliced horizontally through the samurai's body like so much goat cheese; the two halves fell smoking on the snow and turned to dust. "That was all I needed. He couldn't read my thoughts with that garbage in my head."

"I could've done better," Gabrielle muttered, "with a little more time."

"Yeah. Right. Mortals always want more time."Ares cocked his head, casting out his senses, on guard for new opponents. He was less than twenty feet from the spring and Xena. He moved forward cautiously, aware of the Bard coming up behind him on his left.

She glanced around warily, nostrils flaring. The air was warm here, almost tropical, but there was still snow on the ground…Green viny things grew around the rim of the spring. That's odd, I don't remember those…

Was that it? No more guardians?

Ares pulled the bag out of his vest. It was light in weight, its texture soft and worn from his repeated rubbing.It was all he had left of his beloved. If this didn't work he'd have nothing. "Gabrielle, if you've lied to me…" Slowly he loosened the ties, delaying an action that might be useless...

"Ares, we don't have any time to waste. Xena said there might be trouble."

"Haven't we had enough?" he grumbled. Xena’s face suddenly appeared in the pool before them and he caught his breath.

"Ares."

"Xena!" The War God reached out, only to have his fingers shake up the image. He pulled back, cursing, and waited with exasperation for the surface to clear.

"Nice to see you."

"Really?" he blurted, startled. She actually sounded sincere.

The Warrior Princess glanced over her phantom shoulder. "Hurry, they’re coming! Akemi’s not gonna let me go without a fight!"

Ares dumped the ashes in one gust, watching them swirl faster and faster until he was nearly dizzy from their spin. The water foamed—her right hand began to form, her right arm stretching forth. Ares and Gabrielle both reached for her as her head—firmly attached, Gabrielle was pleased to see—rose from the pool. Xena shook wet hair out of her face and inhaled her first breath. The Bard bent and grabbed her firmly above the elbow. The water made sucking noises as more of her friend’s bare body emerged from the watery depths.

Xena’s eyes lit on Gabrielle and then caught the joyous expression on Ares’ face. As the Warrior Princess took on solid form he fell to one knee and put his arms around her waist, adding his strength to the Bard's. For a moment he pressed his cheek against her navel and she let her other hand rest on his head. She was still hip deep in the water when her body wrenched as an invisible something, or someone, grabbed her legs, almost yanking her back out of Ares' arms.

"Akemi, no! Let me go!"

Ghoulish limbs stretched from the spirit world and snaked around her body, imprisoning her. A delicate feminine face formed in the space above them, distorted by possessiveness and jealousy. "No! I won’t let you go back, Xena! You’re mine! I love you!"

Xena stared up at her and whispered, "You don’t know what love is, Akemi. Set me free!"

Gabrielle and Ares held on tighter, but Akemi cried out some unintelligible words. The vines that had been growing placidly at the basin's edge suddenly rose and slithered around Xena's thighs. Ares tried to rip them away but they only tightened. She began to slip back.

"You’re mine, Xena! I will never let you go!"

"Ares!" Gabrielle yelled. "We're losing her!"

"Over my dead body!" he hauled out his sword, keeping one arm around Xena. He began to hack at the foliage frantically but his blade had little effect—the greenery grew back as fast as he could slice it away. If he tried to burn it he might burn her. It was no good, he would have to pull her out forcibly. He looked at her, his eyes tender. "I don’t want to hurt you."

"And you haven't hurt me before? Pull, damn you!" Xena screamed at him, her face contorted by wracking pain as the ghosts tried to tear her asunder.

"All right, you asked for it!" He tossed aside his weapon and, shoving Gabrielle out of the way, threw his arms around Xena's waist. With one mighty heave he yanked her out of the pool.

The unearthly hold on her snapped--the howls of Akemi and her shadowy allies faded as they spun in a whirlpool and disappeared under the water. The remaining vines shriveled up to powder on the stone.

Rescuer and rescued fell backwards in a heap on the snow-dusted ground, breathing hard. Gabrielle landed on her hands and knees beside them. Ares was oblivious to the small blonde—he held a living, naked Xena in his armsand for a moment he held his breath. Xena gazed with a certain wonder at the light she saw in his eyes. Then, true to form, he grinned up at her. "You always like to be on top."

Xena scrambled to her feet and patted herself down, as if to make sure she was complete. Gabrielle gave herself a mental kick—although Xena was completely unselfconscious of her nudity the Bard hadn't thought of clothing—she hadn't even brought a blanket.

Ares supported himself on one elbow and let his eyes roam over Xena's body, taking full advantage of the view. "You are one hell of a woman, Xena."

She stood with her hands on her hips and tilted her head, a half-smile playing on her lips as she looked down at him. "I know that. And I guess you just proved you’re good for something."

"You wanna try me in—"

           "You never give up do you?" she interrupted, shaking her head. "Now--how about some clothes?" she asked, starting to shiver. She sat down on the edge of the spring and put her hands to her temples; despite her initial flippancy the ordeal she'd been through was starting to hit her hard. Gabrielle sat beside her and embraced her and Xena let herself rest wearily against the Bard's shoulder.

"Neither do you, Xena. That’s what I—" he glanced at Gabrielle, shrugged and continued, "love about you." He rose to his feet and snapped his fingers. Her leather garments, complete with armor, sword and boots, once more graced her figure. She fingered the clothing with tired amazement, perhaps realizing at last she was alive. But at what cost? "Ares, I owe you—"

Ares wanted so badly to touch her, to kiss her all over, to know she was real, and to see her face light up when she looked at him. But she could only think of a debt. Disappointed, all he could say was, "Xena… " and he had to stop and look away; his sinuses were burning. "You owe me nothing. I'm glad you're back."

He could see Gabrielle watching him, her expression gentle. He couldn't let her see his weakness. "But ya know something? What is it you mortals say? Where there’s life there’s hope… " He brushed a knuckle against Xena's jaw and smiled at her inadvertent sensual reaction. "If you’re alive, I can always hope… "

"That one day I’ll see the error of my ways?"

He twitched his brows.

She reached out and gripped Gabrielle’s hand. "I have my soulmate.But…" she released her soulmate's hand and stood up. She stepped close and lightly grazed his lips with her own, leaned back and held his eyes. "Thank you for saving me. Friend."

Ares swallowed and nodded. She'd rejected him again, but—she’d called him "Friend"—he could think of it as a step in the right direction.

"Yeah, well… it seemed like the thing to do." He gave her a quick salute, grinned at Gabrielle, and with a "See ya ‘round," he vanished.

They both let out their breath.

"See, Xena? I knew he'd do it." Gabrielle looked at her friend, sniffed and swiped at her nose. "Oh, it's so good to have you back."

"Good to be back, Gabrielle." They hugged each other tightly, both pairs of eyes misty with tears.

"Um, I suppose you want your Chakram now?"

"No. It’s yours. You earned it." Xena’s face softened. "Thank you, Gabrielle. For letting me go." She bit her lip and looked at the ground. "And for bringing me back. I should have listened to you in the first place."

"Oh Xena," Gabrielle shook her head, smiling through her tears, "I keep telling you—"

"And you can tell me some more. It's a long trip back home."

"We should have asked… I mean, while he was doing favors… "

"Ah—I think we can make it on our own from here, Gabrielle."

End

If you enjoyed this story, please read the sequel,
Tabula Rasa.