My Tribute to Kevin
by Shipper Queen

It happened after I became mortal-after she dumped me on that farm with chickens for company. The warlord's buddies came back-did she really think they would just give up? She probably did. I can't think she would have left me there if she didn't.

That yappy neighbor woman saw them first, came streaking into my farm in the middle of the night and jumped on my bed. I almost killed her then and there, but at the same time, I heard the door breaking down, the sound of feet pounding, searching the place.

I remember thinking that it was probably the first time I felt truly afraid since I gave up my immortality that fateful day. After that, she was always here. And I felt safe. But now, she was gone, riding around with Gabrielle probably.

How I envied the blond. The way she was always with Xena. Complete trust, unison, and understanding between the two of them. No such luck for me.

The pounding on the door jerked me out of my reverie, and Greba screamed and hid behind my back. The door burst open, and a mean looking thug came in, flanked by at least a dozen men.

Resisting was useless - my sword was in the chest, along with the armor and gauntlets - I was completely unarmed before the thug. He noticed this too.

An evil smile worked at his lips, and I remembered how many times I had seen that sort of smile on my face? Or even hers. He raised his sword over my head, and even though I knew it was useless, I tried to disarm him. I knew that she would want me to, and even after all these years, I still wanted to make her proud.

I focused my mind on one thing, not the revolting face of the man before me, not on Greba, who was still huddled behind me, not on anyone but her. Her dark hair caressing her shoulders as she looked at me that last time, before they left the farm. How soft her eyes had been.

A sudden pain in my back almost jerked the memory from me, but I held on to it, never wanting to let go. I was looking right at him, the way Eli had looked at me before I killed him. I thought he was a sentimental fool- and maybe he was- but his rambling did have some basis in fact. I just hope that my face will haunt this infidel, the way his haunted me.

I felt the last of life draining away, but oddly enough, I didn't mind. I was peaceful. happy. content. Focusing on the image of the woman I loved. A small sigh escaped my lips, and I murmured, Xena.., and closed my eyes.

And that brings me to where I am today. Sometimes I laugh at how similar it is to my old life. Still watch Xena all day. Although there are perks, of course. She doesn't notice me watching. Or at least that's what I'm told. But I sometimes think she does.

I was looking when she first came to know of my death, how she traveled to the farm alone, and grieved over me. I actually saw her cry. But that was before, and I was unable to leave this realm, even in spirit. I never heard what she was saying. But now I can go, visit her in a way. My spirit can.

She and the bard are sleeping by their campfire - a little more spread out than usual, I noticed. Since my death, Xena always seemed to sleep further from her friend. I materialized in her realm, still invisible to all of course, and sat near her bedroll. Her eyes snapped open, and for a second I held my breath as she looked straight at me.

"Ares?" she murmured, almost dreamily.

I froze, wondering how she could still sense me, how she could see me.

I watched the tears gather in her eyes, and felt her wrap her arms around me, and hug me, kiss me, hold me. My love, my life...

"Xena.." I whispered again, just as I had before I died. She brought me closer as reply, for the first time, actually seeming to need me.

"Why can I see you?" she asked, finally.

That had been puzzling me too..I had been assured that she wouldn't even sense me - let alone be able to touch and see me.

To my surprise, she answered her question herself.

"I know why. It's the bond we share. You're forever part of my soul, just like I'm a part of yours. You'll always be with me, it'll always be like this"

I smiled at her then, holding her tight.

"I'm so sorry" she whispered to me.

"Don't be. The time I've been dead has been the best in my life. I heard you thinking of me, knew you cared somewhat. I'm happy."

"You mean the dead can really hear our thoughts?"

I nodded.

"I could see you, but I couldn't hear you. It was still too early."

Her gaze turned towards me again, and she cupped my cheek.

"I love you, Ares"

A momentary anger flashed within me--- why couldn't she have told me that before, when I could still be with her? But it quickly cooled. I could be with her now. Even more than ever before. Our souls would be joined.

I couldn't think of anything to say, so I settled for what she had told me, so long ago. "Thank you"

"No" she whispered. "Thank you"

She lay back down on her sleeping skin, and motioned me to lie next to her. Trembling, I eased myself down, carefully wrapping her in my arms. She gave a contented sigh, and rested her head against my chest, laying her arm across me.

"We're together now Ares" she told me. "Forever"

I smiled at the top of her head as she drifted off to sleep, still holding on to me. Closing my eyes, I allowed myself to sleep also, with the one I loved most in my arms.

~ The End ~