Ruler of the Heart
by Shipper Queen

Wisdom, weaving, and war.these were my domains. I watched over them faithfully, did my duty. For eon's peace prevailed on Olympus, and there was peace on earth too--except for the usual squirmishes my idiotic brother created, and called honorable war. For eon's I ruled, with almost no one questioning my authority. I was Wisdom, after all.

I suppose at first us gods were vary of others--knowing that it was quite possible for gods to be overthrown, like my father overthrew Cronos. But after a couple millennia, we lost our carefulness. These mortals dared not stand up to us, the all-powerful Olympians.

And so we ruled.our will was the law, of course. The pathetic mortals couldn't figure out how to take a bath without my wisdom. In fact, my own sister couldn't. It must be something about their aura.

We may have been forceful, strict, coldhearted-- all those choice words that Zeus' mongrel son used to fling at us-- but we did it for the good of everyone. We created this world.and we wanted to rule it. So rule it we did.

So much for the good old days.

It all changed in one act, one moment. One motion. The day that the redeemed Callisto, glowing in a peaceful, heavenly light, touched the stomach of a woman. Xena. And at that moment, the peace and prosperity of the world -- blew up in our faces.

From that moment there was no peace. A reign of terror was upon us, and for the first time in my existence, I feared for my life.

"What could we have done wrong?" we asked ourselves, sitting hunched in our thowns, in temples abandoned by our followers. As more and more people listened to Eli, that prophet, and Hercules, more began to believe them. Silly fools, don't they know they need us?

Apparently not-- there's gratitude for you.It was the Olympians that made this world, all the men, women, children. It is ours to do with what we please. Or so we thought.

For awhile, we still tried to dismiss the situation. the mortals wouldn't go through with it, they knew that they couldn't live without our guidance. While more and more of our followers joined up against us, we tried to convince each other that this was just a stage, a normal step.

Although Hercules will try to convince them otherwise, we do care about them. They are our children, our creation. They still need us to rule over them, to show them the way.

Our hopeful thoughts evaporated just a little while later. The baby was born, bringing proof of its power in its very first breath. The death of Zeus. Killed by his own son: the son who he had cherished over any of us. And to think, the old man was proud of him till the end. Goddess of Wisdom that I am, I thought I would never understand that.

We began to drop like raindrops in a storm. My sisters. My brothers. Most of whom were rather worthless and annoying most times--but nevertheless family. I missed them.

Then came something worse: Betrayal. And by the God of War no less. Claiming that he loved Xena--the very reason of our death! I once asked him why he was still sticking with her, even though she wouldn't even accept his help. He looked thoughtful, and those eyes, that I had seen cold, hard, and cruel on so many occasions, turned soft with her very mention. He looked defeated after a moment, and shrugged his shoulders. "She is my world.my existence." he told me. "Without her, I can't live."

I let loose my anger then, rage filling me, screaming at him. Doesn't he see that with her, he can't live either? That none of us can?

He just looks at me with that puzzled stare, like he can't figure it out himself. "That's no life," he said quietly.

He reached out his hand to touch my shoulder, as a gesture of sorrow perhaps, but I brushed it away.

"You're a disgrace to your family, your kind. Giving your heart to a woman who hates you."

He dropped his head, staring down at his boots, then looked me straight in the eye.

"At least I have a heart to give"

I shrugged his words off then, he was war! What heart might war possibly have? But I see the truth in them now, many years after he has said them.

Hopeless as we knew it was, we didn't give up. The remainder of us kept Xena and her kid busy, running around the world, trying to hide from us. And then came her famous falsely planned death, raising all our hopes. The child was gone, and our reign restored.

I thought again about my brother's words to me: that for him, without his beloved, there was no life. I thought about them when, with tears in his eyes for probably the first time, he carried them to the ice cave. I followed him through the ether, and could have probably destroyed the cave after he left-- making sure that the child that had threatened our existence would never find peace. But I didn't. And if I could repeat what had happened again, knowing the consequences of my actions, I don't know if I would have done differently.

So peace was restored--twenty-five years of false peace. Living on borrowed time. Although of course, we didn't know it then. Then for a second time, our world exploded right along with the ice through which Xena broke through with her Chakram. It had been a trick-- the child still lived.

And then came the last battle: something that in the back of my mind, I knew would happen, sooner or later.

As I saw Eve and Gabrielle, lying in a pool of their own blood, and the look on Xena's face: one of absolute horror and pain, such as I have never seen before-- I wondered if I was doing the right thing, but dismissed the thought. I was Wisdom: what I wanted, went.

Just when I thought the end came, the end of the threat, when the sword shot through me, and no blood came, the impossible happened.

I guess he really wasn't bluffing, wasn't joking, when he said those words, more than twenty-five years ago. He really couldn't live without her. She was his life.

And as he knelt down, and the chains, which were put on by her own hand fell to the marble floor, I think I caught a glimpse of the truth. It was short lived.

A painful shock: as I felt her sword impale me, and saw the tears well up in my brother's eyes. I fell, but the world did not fall. Wisdom did not die. I was its messenger, and I had outlived my purpose. I understood that then, too late.

I didn't even need to ask, but I decided to anyway. Summoning up the last of my energy, I croaked out "You saved her without my blessing."

And saw the quiet content glowing in his eyes as he stood, feeling his now mortal body.

"Well like I said, I got a thing for her" he told me softly, and while I could still see, his eyes returned back to that soft, defenseless, brown. which I had seen when he had said those words to me so long ago. I gathered my lips into a smile, which I hope he saw.

I was wisdom, I ruled over the minds of kings, of warlords, of men. I carried within me the stragedy of war, the art of winning. But in the end, it was love, which ruled over the hearts of us all, that won.

~ The End ~