YOU WERE HUMAN
by LadyKate

I hold up the sword in my hand. It looks like an ordinary sword -- well, not quite, the ornate carvings on the hilt are amazing, it's probably the work of Hephaestus himself -- but it takes more than beautiful workmanship to impress me. Yet as I look at the faint gleam of the blade in the murky hall of Sisyphus' castle, I am riveted. It's the sword that holds the key to Ares' godhood.

He asked me before if I wanted it for myself. It was strange; he sounded almost as if, now that he was mortal, he wasn't sure he wanted it. I told him no.

But when I look at it now -- I think I can feel it, the power seeping into my hands, radiating through me ... "You'd make a magnificent Goddess of War ..."

A noise draws my attention. I turn and see that Ares is in trouble. Virgilius, the warlord Ares has stabbed before and left for dead, is back on his feet, charging at him. Unarmed, Ares is frozen in mortal terror for an instant. There's only one thing to do.

"Ares, duck!"

The sword flies through the air, and then it's buried in Virgilius' chest. Ares gasps for breath.

"You saved me," he says. "I won't forget this."

But his hand is already on the hilt of his sword.

A small lump of sadness lodges somewhere in my chest and refuses to leave. Just a few instants ago when that sword was in my hands, and when I thought I could have the ultimate power, I knew that I could have forgotten ... a lot.

"Yes, you will," I say.

He raises the bloodied sword as I watch. A strange golden glow begins to radiate from its hilt upwards. It is reflected in his eyes, turning them cold and hard. The glow spreads, streaks of blue lightning snaking around the blade; I wonder if I should turn away -- I've heard stories of mortals being blinded or even burned to a crisp from watching a god in his full glory. And yet I can't tear my eyes away. That shabby shirt is gone now, replaced by the sleek leather vest; the scruffy hair and beard have turned smooth and jet-black again. A shadow of a smile touches his lips, but it's the cold cruel smile of the God of War.

He'll forget.

My eyes are aching; it must be the brightness of that glow. But it's already starting to fade. Now, it's just Ares, still holding up his sword, still smiling.

I hear Gabrielle's hushed voice. "He's ba-ack..."

Sisyphus, the defeated trickster, cowers in terror under Ares' glare.

"Give my regards to Hades," Ares sneers. Shrieking, Sisyphus disintegrates before our eyes, and then Ares turns to me. "I couldn't have done it without you, Xena. But as for mortality" -- he grins nastily -- "you can have it."

The sadness rises heavily to my throat. All I can say is, "It's your loss, Ares. For a while, you weren't just mortal -- you were human." I'm sure he has no idea what I mean.

I see that he's about to vanish. Then, Gabrielle speaks up. "Wait a minute! You promised that Xena would get her body back if she helped you."

"I did, didn't I?" And then he does vanish with a gleeful laugh.

"Wait!" Gabrielle cries out. "You can't betray her! Come back!"

Poor, naïve Gabrielle. Of course he can. He just did. A stricken Gabrielle looks at me.

"Oh, Xena..."

I look down at my body, the body of my worst enemy that Ares put me in as part of his twisted game. And then I realize that as bad as it is to be stuck in this body, it feels even worse, at least for the moment, to know that he betrayed me. What's that all about? Maybe being trapped in Callisto's body has really messed with my head...

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

There they are, walking along the beach on Sisyphus' island, about to get on the boat. That pesky little blonde, Danielle or whatever her name is, is still moaning about how wrong it is that I'm back on Olympus and Xena is still stuck in Callisto's body.

Hah. I'll put her back -- when I decide it's the right time. Truth is, I miss those baby blues as much as she does. But I'll keep her guessing ... maybe another couple of days. I have to show her who's god. Just in case she got any ideas, after the way I had to depend on her to bail me out. I still have a vivid memory of dangling upside down over a pit with sharp spikes sticking out of it, yelling, "Xenaaaaaa!" Yech. Gotta get the taste of that out of my mouth.

Thing is, I have other memories too. The way she was touching me when she was bandaging my wound ... how can her hands be so strong and so gentle at the same time? And then the way she looked at me ... there was definitely something there. I really wanted to kiss her then, and I think she would have let me ... if that accursed warlord hadn't burst into the room just then and then dropped dead with an axe in his back. Serves him right.

Oh well. Maybe it's for the best that I didn't kiss her then. I think I feel myself blushing (didn't even know gods blushed ...) when I remember the nonsense I was spouting just before that. "Once I regain my sword, maybe things will be .... different." Yeah, right. She knew better than to buy into that: "A kinder, gentler god of war? We both know that's not gonna happen." Smart girl. But I kept going: "You changed -- why not me? I think you might be surprised about the change you can inspire in a man -- or a god." That was when she gave me that look ... what a look.

The worst of it is, I meant it when I said it. I guess being mortal must have really messed with my head.

Or maybe it's not just mortality. It's her. I think I'm becoming a little obsessed with the girl. I mean, it was perfectly natural for me to get pissed off when my favorite warrior walked away, and to try to get her back. But somehow, it got a little more personal. I wanted her, of course, from the first moment I saw her in battle -- and even when she was still my protégée, she nearly drove me crazy with her will-I-won't-I cat-and-mouse games. I thought I'd get that out of my system if I had her ... what does it matter if it was Callisto's soul inside her? But no ... I want something else from her ... something more. What in Tartarus is it?

Maybe it wasn't so clever of me to tell her that I did it with Callisto in her body. She was --

Wait a minute. Am I actually worried that she was pissed off at me?

Get a grip, Ares. At this rate, pretty soon you'll be the laughingstock of all Olympus.

I look into the portal again. Blondie's carrying on about how if I don't keep my word and switch Xena back, she'll still be there for her no matter whose body she's in. Xena has a strange look in her eyes, like she's actually moved by this mush. Oh please.

Hmph ... suddenly, I don't want her to go on thinking that I lied to her.

All right, Xena. Here we go.

She stops and looks down at herself, runs her hands over her body, picks up a strand of dark hair. That's right, Xena. It's you.

Meanwhile, the blonde isn't even looking at her. She's yapping about how she'll be fine if she can get through the boat ride without killing that jerk who hangs around them pretending to be a warrior.

"Trust me, you’ll be fine-- and so will I," Xena says.

Blondie gasps, turns around and looks.

"Xena, it's you, right -- not Callisto?"

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's her. Xena's looking at her, glowing with the happiest smile I've ever seen on her face. Or anyone's face. Hey, maybe a little bit of that smile for me... I mean, now that she knows I didn't betray her...

All right, that does it. I've got to shut this thing down and tune in to the bloodiest battle I can find anywhere...

... in another minute or two.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

The boat is rocking gently, the sea around us a vast expanse of glittering blue and silver. Joxer's finally quieted down, and Gabrielle keeps looking at me, beaming -- she's so happy to have me back.

I'm happy too. Everything's back to normal ... including Gabrielle, and myself ... and Ares.

Suddenly, I realize that I'm going to miss Ares.

He wasn't exactly a good guy as a mortal. Self-centered ... swaggering ... cynical ... getting all indignant about having to endure the ills and perils of mortality, as if we didn't have to endure them our whole lives -- and put up with the gods and their little games to boot...

But still, he was ... what's that word I'm looking for?

Human.

I remember the look in his eyes when he said he wanted to change. You changed -- why not me? I think you might be surprised about the change you can inspire in a man -- or a god... I wish I could tell myself that it was just one of his clever tricks, that he really knew how to get to me. But the truth is -- I think he did believe it. Not that it matters now...

And then he looked like he wanted to kiss me. The scary thing is, I think I wanted him to.

I've always known I wanted him, of course. What woman wouldn't? We came really close, in the old days when I was a warrior in his service. The only reason we didn't go all the way is that I didn't want him to lose interest too soon. Eventually, we would have ... but then I walked away from my old life, from him, from everything he stands for.

I burn inside you. That's what he said to me once, less than a year ago, when he tried to frame me for killing those villagers so that I'd have no choice but to turn to him for help -- no choice but to go back to him. And he was right, in more ways than one. He is the lust for battle and power that will always be a part of me ... but there's another fever in my blood that burns for him as well. I still remember how he whisked me out of that filthy jail to some fortress of his, a fortress that may have been an illusion he created, and how he caressed my bare shoulders, making the heat spread to my chest, and lower. It makes me shiver. But I can deal with that. I know it's never going to happen. He's the God of War.

What scares me is that after these past days, I know there's more to him than the God of War. Somewhere under the hard shell of his godhood is a man, a human being capable of decency and compassion -- capable of being sickened by the sight of blood on his hands -- capable of wanting to change -- capable of love...

At that moment, I know that he's more dangerous to me now than he ever was. I can deal with knowing that I desire him. But to know that I could actually --

Don't even go there.

What a weapon that would hand him against me. I'll really have to be on my guard next time I see him ... which I know I will.

I shake my head and smile distractedly at Gabrielle.

I wonder if he's watching us right now...

Snap out of it.

It's over. That Ares is gone.

I know he's never coming back.

Something Else
by Nittany Lioness

Ares:

There she is strolling victoriously on the beach. Did I allow her victory, really? Such confidence. How can she not be rankled by my tease? She is something. <laughs> Something else, alright.

Why doesn’t this bother her more? Eh, I could never read her. That’s why I love her, dammit. Ah, that game face. (!) What I wouldn’t give to kiss roughly that strategy right off her puss…almost did. Damn lousy, cheatin’ ax murderers.

The only thing I could ever read from her is that body language.
It’s the only way we’ve ever managed to speak honestly to each other, isn't it Xena.
That black-maned head is impenetrable, but her hands never stop confessing when they’re placed on me.
Eh. <chuckle> Yep, I heard her heart despite her head. Heard her hands loud and clear, I wasn’t THAT wounded, for cryin’ out loud.
(Can’t blame all those mortal men offering their loyalty, their lives, for that touch…)
Damn, I need that black mane back, I delayed this to let that woman know who’s boss, but <snort> that joke is growing tiresome, we both know: I’ll never be her lord, she’ll never submit to that.
…
I need her to know that change is still here in this god, now. <a wave of the hand> Would your cold God of War grant you this, Xena?
Yea, what I wouldn’t give…

==========================================

Xena:

<smiling, musing> Hmmm, ummm, that body.
If he only knew how close he was… if he’d refused that sword… <smile deepens in revelry>
After all, I know I could have convinced him later to return to Olympus as the God of War, I was right all along, he is the right one for the job.
But that gesture, it could have gotten him…ME. (!) For a while, until the world couldn’t hold out. We could have had… something. <sizzling smirk> Something else, alright.
…
Eh. Willingly giving up godhood for me, crazy. Asking just way too much. <shakes head, lowers it> No wonder so many find me arrogant.
No matter what I really think of Ares, I couldn’t really expect him to change that much. Na, never happen. Crazy-talk, Xena. <laughs softly to herself>

by SaphiraBleu

Xena's POV

“You saved me. I won’t forget.”

“Yes you will,” I reply in nonchalant indifference; some part of me hopes it isn’t true.

This last couple of days has been… interesting. But it has shown me two things that stand out among everything else – there is a need for a God of War and Ares is the right man for the job. Still, having experienced Ares as a mortal and caught by surprise… even with the resentment I carry from his most recent plan for “world peace through force”, it’s given me food for thought. And something else, though I can’t quite put my finger on it.

Light emanates from the sword. It grows and washes over him, leaving his form in its more familiar state. I have to wonder at the half hope I find in me that he won’t do it now, that he will allow more time as a mortal for the things he has experienced to sink into his consciousness and be thought about. Allow more time for me to… know him I guess; after all, I’ve been forced, now, to consider Ares as a man.

“I couldn’t have done it without you, Xena. But as for mortality – you can have it.”

“It’s your loss, Ares. For awhile you weren’t just mortal, you were human.” I wonder if he sees through the words to their meaning.

We can see he’s preparing to depart, perhaps to visit Hades, but Gabrielle’s voice makes him pause.

“Wait a minute – you promised that Xena would get her body back if she helped you.”

I hear the underlying plea and my heart goes out to her. He looks at me with that trace of amusement he knows I will understand. He knows because… well, because he knows. We’ve known each other a long time after all. My heart leaps with the hope he will do it now, but he laughs and fades from view.

“Wait! You can’t betray her! Come back!” Gabrielle’s desperate shout chases him into the aether.

“Poor Xena,” she whispers, but that’s not what she’s feeling I know. Poor Gabrielle, forced by her attachment for me to bear things she shouldn’t have to.

Her face falls in bitter disappointment and I choke back my own. He is a god and will keep his promise when it meets his mood. Nothing has changed; his gratitude is fleeting now that he has what he wants. Those in positions of power are always that way.

It’s time to go for Gabrielle, Joxer and I – Joxer trails for a last look at the weapons in haphazard disarray about the room. Gabrielle searches for words that won’t wound me because she knows it’s not my fault I’m trapped in this body she despises. If I tell her to be patient, that Ares keeps his promises, she won’t believe me. I try to focus on her and save my reflections of this last day for later when I’m alone. Maybe I’ll forget to think about them later, won’t have to think about Ares as a mortal, as a man, and the things I saw in him. Maybe, but I suspect it’s a forlorn hope. My impatience at his delay in returning my body chafes me; maybe that will help.

“So Ares is back where he belongs, but you’re still in Callisto’s body. It isn’t right.”

It isn’t right, but what can I say that will make her feel better about it? How can I ask her to accept it when I don’t quite accept it myself? Yet I am who I am and the body doesn’t change that, it only changes the way the world looks at me. She who writes the stories knows that, but she’s too close to see it. So I’ll have to accept this body until Ares gets around to fulfilling his promise. He was right, you know – he’s never lied to me. Deceived and manipulated, yes, but he’s never lied. Ares, a constant in a changing world – and now a man as well. Still not certain if I like thinking of him that way, but I guess I’ll get used to it.

“You’ll be just fine, Gabrielle,” I feel a gentle tingling and smile as I realize the God of War has decided I’ve waited long enough. “ – and so will I.”

Gabrielle looks around and the heart stopping joy on her face is everything I’m feeling at the moment. Until next time, Ares, God of War. Until next time.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Ares' POV

“You saved me. I won’t forget.”

“Yes you will.”

I can hear the smirk in her voice and I’m almost offended. But then, she’s allowed a certain amount of reservation when dealing with me. I haven’t exactly been the most trustworthy god in the world. Especially lately, when it seems I spend most of time in one plot or another revolving around her.

Mortality sucks. From hanging over the side of a ship to hanging upside down over fire and between spiked walls, mortality sucks. Spending time with this mortal though… I meant what I said about the gentleness of her hands and inspiring change.

Light emanates from the sword. It grows and floods over me, through me. What a rush! It’s almost enough to make me drunk. I glance over to find her watching – I can’t read what’s in her face now – she looks almost ready to cry. Is she wishing she had kept the sword? I mentally shake my head. Nah. Not Xena; not that. I wish I knew what she was thinking. I wish she were doing this for some other reason than because she thinks it’s the right thing to do.

“I couldn’t have done it without you, Xena. But as for mortality – you can have it.”

“It’s your loss, Ares. For awhile you weren’t just mortal, you were human.”

I hear you, Xena, but I’m not going to stop and think about it. It feels too good to have my powers back again – to feel like myself. Seems to me being human is just more trouble than it’s worth and I have other things to do – like visit Hades and make him pay for this.

“Wait a minute – you promised that Xena would get her body back if she helped you.”

Gabrielle – Miss Goody Two Shoes herself telling me what I owe. I know what I owe and where. Xena may put up with her soft, interfering ways, but I don’t have to.

“I did, didn’t I?” I smirk at the young bard and glance over at Xena. She knows I’ll keep my promise - I always have. In the meantime, I think I’ll let the annoying blonde sweat some. I laugh with genuine amusement as I fade from their vision.

“Wait! You can’t betray her! Come back!” Gabrielle’s shout fades as I do.

The Halls of War are quiet as I open a portal to watch. The bard is trying to come to terms with what she thinks is a pretty bleak prospect. Xena walks beside her, her step certain and sure as always. Xena… I can feel the softness of her touch as she cares for my wound. I have a certain charm for you, don’t I, Xena? But you hold a certain fascination for me too, do you realize that?

I wonder if she’ll ever touch me like that again. I wonder why I want it. I feel the smile that breaks out unbidden on my lips as I realize it doesn’t matter, I want it and that’s enough. And speaking of enough… I wave my hand at the mirror and the black tresses and copper armor appear on her well-toned body. Blonds – well, most of them anyway – are okay, but I really prefer Xena in her original form.

I see the bard’s startled face and Xena’s own warm smile, and my own face responds in kind. I’ll see you again, Xena – soon.

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